How do I help my toddler develop emotional regulation skills?

Start by co-regulating—then model, name, and practice emotions together.

Toddlers learn to manage big feelings through consistent connection, not correction.

Emotional regulation isn’t taught—it’s experienced through safe, responsive relationships.

Toddlers don’t have the tools to calm themselves yet. Their brains are still developing the ability to pause, think, and respond. That’s why emotional regulation starts with you. Your calm presence helps them build theirs.

Here’s how to help your toddler develop emotional regulation skills:

• Regulate yourself first.

  Take a deep breath. The calmer you are, the safer your child feels—and the easier it is for them to calm down too.

• Name the emotion out loud.

  Try: “You’re feeling frustrated because the block tower fell.” This builds emotional vocabulary and validation.

• Offer physical connection.

  A hug, a hand on the back, or just sitting nearby shows: “I see you. I’m here.” That safety is what regulates the brain.

• Don’t rush to fix it.

  Let your toddler ride the wave of their feeling, knowing you’ll stay close. This builds their internal sense of resilience.

• Practice “calm time” skills when they’re not upset.

  Breathing games, sensory play, and storytelling are great ways to build coping skills outside of crisis moments.

• Repeat the cycle: Name it. Stay near. Ride it out. Repair.

  Over time, this rhythm becomes your toddler’s inner voice of regulation.

Helping your toddler regulate emotions isn’t about preventing outbursts—it’s about staying connected while they learn how to move through them.